


How Do I Delete Feelings?!?

by Queen_Martia



Category: Wings of Fire - Tui T. Sutherland
Genre: All of the Jade Winglet is LGBTQ+, Carnelian can't handle feelings, F/F, Moon is a good bro, The everything is good and nothing hurts au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-07-28 22:50:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7659970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Martia/pseuds/Queen_Martia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The evolution of Carnelian at the Academy.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Philia

Carnelian really,  _really_  hated this school. She was a soldier, not some whining schoolchild who needed to be escorted to her classes. She should be out defending her kingdom, not trapped away from the sky in this stuffy cave system while some old Seawing crone babbled on about the Scorching. She needed to be hunting down Scarlet, not learning, for the seven hundredth time, how the war was resolved. For moons' sake, no one would shut up about it!

Of course, since her queen had ordered it of her, she would do as she was told, but that didn't mean she had to enjoy it. 

If she had to choose, the most annoying thing in this school was her clawmates, hands down. Well, aside from the Mudwing, he was fine. The rainwing wouldn't shut up when she was awake, and the nightwing wouldn't stop muttering when she was asleep. The sandwing and icewing wouldn't stop bickering. And the seawing wouldn't stop trying to befriend her.

_So why do I want to protect them?_

She mulled this over as she lay on her bed, blanket thrown haphazardly across her lower back, a scroll abandoned by her head. It was late afternoon, and everyone but her was gone, leaving the room all alone. She watched the dust float through the setting sunlight, dancing and drifting. Without thinking about it, she reached a claw out and swirled a pattern in the air. She smiled as the particles shivered and flew about rapidly, as though running from the sudden disturbance. It was relaxing to watch, the small bits drifting in the fading golden rays.

_They're so small. Fragile. They wouldn't last a minute._

Carnelian frowned at the thought.  _What is wrong with me?_ She shook her head. There was no way that she was actually concerned about them, right? Right?

_Oh shit. Nope, no, no way, I refuse this, I must have been poisoned._

"Fuck," she groaned, throwing her arm over her eyes. She really  _did_ care. It wasn't fair.

"What's not fair?" a voice called from the door. Carnelian peeked out from under her arm.  _Oh, it's just that Nightwing._

"My name's Moonwatcher." 

"Stay out of my head," Carnelian growled.

"Wear your skyfire," Moonwatcher responded. She ignored Carnelian's multiple protests and clambered onto the bed. "Now, do you mind telling me your thoughts?"

"What's the point? You can just read them?"

"Well, now I can't. Your thoughts are too fiery?"

"Wha?"

"Never mind." Moonwatcher settled herself down as close as Carnelian would let her. "Just- tell me what's bugging you."

"I've started caring about you guys, and I can't figure out why."

Moonwatcher thought for a moment. "And how is this not fair?"

"You're really asking me this?" Moonwatcher nodded. "Well, this place is terrible, and this winglet is terrible, and I plan on killing Scarlet as soon as I find her, and I can't do that with you lot following me around, and I should be fighting for my kingdom, not being stuck in stupid lessons, because what's the point, I'm stupid anyway, and a billion other things." She took a deep breath, licking her lips. Moonwatcher gave her an odd look. "What?"

"Okay, first of all, you're not stupid. I've seen some of the things you've written, and they're actually really intelligent. Secondly, I'm fairly certain that if you found Scarlet, Winter would bore her to death before you could hurt her."

Carnelian chuckled. "You're not half bad, Moonwatcher."

Moonwatcher smiled. "Glad I could help."


	2. Agape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little outing leads to a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is totally my headcanon now that Carnelian and Moon are besties now.  
> Also, I'm using the term aes for their currency, because I like the idea that Skywings are totally romans.

If Carnelian had to pick, a positive part of the Academy was Market Day. A free day for all the dragonets, where they could go into Possibility and buy whatever their wallets provided? Yeah, that was pretty awesome. Of course, some dragons had their wages from the army with her, and the icewing- "I've told you, his name is Winter." "Yeah, well, I don't care." - had given a few coins to Moon and that rainwing.

"I'm thinking about getting something antique, like a sword or something," she told Moon as they navigated through the crowded streets.

"Really?" Moon frowned. "I don't think Headmistress Tsunami would be okay with you bringing a weapon back."

"You never know." 

Moon would have said something else, but was interrupted as a mudwing raced past them, shoving Carnelian into a stall holding various fruits. The wood cracked and splintered as she crashed, smashing the plants beneath her. She growled and pushed herself up, bits of wood and seeds sticking to her scales.

"Ow, ow, ow," she muttered under her breath. Moon winced in sympathy and offered her a hand up. Carnelian accepted her hand and stood up shakily. She grimaced at the smashed remains of the fruit stand, sticky red juice seeping across the stones."Sorry about your stand, miss."

The stall-owner, a wrinkled sandwing with multiple scars across her face, sighed irritatedly. "It's alright." She handed over a small handkerchief. "I swear, those police are as useless as a fangless snake. This is the third robbery this week."

Carnelian nodded, wiping her face with the cloth. Moon reached for her coin purse, but the dragoness shook her head. "Don't worry about it, dear. I was looking to get this old thing replaced, anyway," she said, gesturing to the pile of broken wood and splattered fruit.

"But the fruit-"

 

"Oh, don't fuss. I have a few tabs I can call in, anyways."

"Are you sure?" Carnelian asked. 

"Well, if you really want to help," the sandwing smiled, "the next time you school-dragonets come down to Possibility, send all your little friends to Sahara's Fruit Stand."

Moon nodded, grabbing Carnelian's arm. "Of course, ma'am."

Sahara smiled. "Now, go on! Don't let this accident stop you from having your fun." She grabbed a broom and started sweeping up the shards.

Moon pulled Carnelian along, away from the market. "Well, you heard her. Let's go find somewhere else to go, preferably without crime."

Carnelian let herself get tugged along until they came to a stone fountain in the middle of the square. The marble dragons spouted water, spraying a fine mist over the two dragonets as they washed up.  _Hey, Moon?_ Carnelian thought, trying to aim her thoughts at her friend.

"Yeah?" she whispered, quiet enough so that no one would wonder why the little dragonet was talking to someone else.

_What was that Sandwing thinking about?_

"Well, mostly about how she wishes she could have gone to school, how soon she could get a new stand, and she was under the impression that we were a couple."

  _Well, that would explain a lot._

"Yeah." Moon was quiet for a bit of time.

_What's the matter?_

"Oh, nothing. It's just- she reminds me of a rainwing I knew, back in the rainforest. Even after everything the nightwings did to her, she was always kind to me and my mother. She was almost like a grandma."

"My grandmother's in prison."

Moon snorted, cracking a disbelieving smile. "What, really?"

"Yeah, she tried to kill my uncle when he was hatched."

"What is it with skywings and violence?"

Carnelian growled halfheartedly. "Unlike you namby-pamby forest-dwellers. All you do is eat fruit and give your dragonets weird-ass names."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, what kind of a name is Bigtail? Or Mightyclaws?"

With a laugh, Moon pushed her into the fountain.

* * *

 Sahara was counting up the profit of the day when a familiar face appeared through the crowd. She smiled and put away her purse, waving them over. "Ah, there you are! I was wondering when you would come."

Silt sighed. "Y'know, you could have chosen a better time to call in my tab. Citrine just developed a cough, and the doctor's doubled her prices since last month." 

Sahara nodded in sympathy. "Wet or dry?"

"Wet."

"Hold on just a second." Sahara rummaged through the glass bottles in her bag, searching for the right ingredients.  _Ah, there we are,_ and she pulled out some of her black pepper and honey. She handed over the vials to the tawny mudwing. "Mix one third pepper with two thirds honey, and give it to her for seven days. That ought to help her breathe easier."

Silt nodded, taking the small bottles. "You're a lifesaver."

"Yeah, well, what can I say? You're my best customer." Sahara held out her claws. "Tab, please?"

A small bag of coins fell into her hands. "This is all I can afford for now," Silt sighed, bowing her head.

_Only a few aes?_ Sahara shook her head. "Keep the money. You need it more than I do."

Silt huffed. "Are you trying to make me a dishonest dragon?"

"Look, after that school visit today, I've made a pretty profit from those dragonets starved of fruit. I can wait another day for when your dragonet isn't sick."

Silt cocked her head. "Really? They have the chance to do whatever they want, and they choose to come downtown, away from the museum and library, to get fruit?"

Sahara smiled. "Well, what can I say? I have a friend on the inside."

"You make it sound like a prison. "Silt shook her head. "You are one unusual dragon, my friend." She gathered up her bag, claws hesitating with the purse. "Are you sure I can take it back?"

Sahara pushed the bag to her friend, nodding. "I'll see you tomorrow," she called as Silt pushed through the crowd. She sent out a silent _thank-you_ to that skywing who had made her business boom in the first place. And while it wasn't the skywing who heard her, she didn't go unheard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh, this took forever to write. I swear, I will introduce Sora soon, just be patient.


	3. Ludus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carnelian is very confuzzled by this whole 'love' business, until she gets a taste of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, in order to understand this one, you probably want to read chapter 2 of my other fic, but it's not necessary to get the gist of it.  
> Also, mentions of sex (though none actually happens).

_Oh, but with one word_

_You have turned my hatred to beautiful fear_

_Speak, my sweet, and I will listen_

_And watch as your amber eyes glisten_

_To sing the poem given from above._

Carnelian growled in frustration. "This is ridiculous," she complained, tossing the poem to her side. She huffed and scratched at the sheets beneath her. "'Beautiful fear'? 'Poem from above'? It's all a bunch of garbage. Why do we have to read this, again?"

Moon eyed her from across the room. "I thought you liked poetry."

"Yeah, real poetry. Stuff like  _The Seven Knights of Youth_ , or  _The Night of Remembrance_. This is just some love-sick teen talking about how much he loves his boyfriend."

Moon sighed. "Carnelian, haven't you ever been in love?"

Carnelian smiled smugly. She had never been in love, and that was one of the few things she was proud of. She had seen lovesick soldiers constantly talking about the dragon waiting for them back home, only to be cut down on the battlefield like fleeing prey. She would sometimes wonder about the family they left behind, and how their 'sweethearts' would react when they found out that their lover was six feet under.

"That is honestly terrible."

"Stay out of my head!"

Moon rolled her eyes. "Well, ignoring that gruesome notion of yours, love really is beautiful fear." Moon sighed and closed her eyes, no doubt thinking of that rainwing she oh-so adored. "To love someone can be terrifying. Your heart beats fast when they're around, and all you can think about is being with them. When they smile, your world is complete, and when they cry, your heart breaks. Love is putting the one you care for first."

Carnelian stared at her. "Wow, someone you thinking about there?"

Moon threw a pillow at her. "Shut up." 

Carnelian laughed. "Surely there's more to love than just that?"

"Well, if you don't believe me, go bother someone else. I'm taking a nap now."

"Fine, I will."

* * *

"What's your definition of love?"

Carnelian went around asking this to anyone who would listen to her. Granted, a lot of dragons ignored her, but a lot of dragons answered her, too. The answers she got, in order, were as varied as the dragons in the school.

"Love is giving them the best piece of fruit."

"Love is when you see someone at their worst and still think they're the best."

"Love isn't real."

"It's when you'll stay by someone's side, even when they can't tell the difference between reality and fiction."

"When you want to give them your favorite things, even if there's only one."

"Love's a bitch."

"Love is going through hell with someone by your side."

"You have to trust them, and you have to be understanding."

"Love is patient. Love is kind. It is not proud, nor boastful, nor rude. It keeps no grudges, and seeks nothing of its own."

"Love conquers all."

"It's when you kiss them, even though they're all dirty and smelly."

"Love is seeing all their flaws, and staying with them anyway."

"Love is like being reborn."

She wasn't getting anywhere with this.

* * *

"Moon?"

Moon didn't take her eyes off the scroll she was scribbling on. "Yeah, Carnelian?"

Carnelian bit her lip. "So I met this girl-"

"Hold on." In a second, Moon had hopped off her bunk and pulled Carnelian towards the reading corner. "So, continue," Moon said, grabbing a pillow.

"Right," she coughed. "Well, that storm we had last night, Umber's sister kinda thought I was her brother, and I couldn't just leave her to weather the storm alone, right? So... we kinda slept together."

Moon was silent for a moment. Then, "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?"

She shook Carnelian's shoulders roughly, hard enough that her teeth clacked together. "Why did you have sex with a stranger? Do you have any idea what could have happened? What on earth was going through your head?"

Carnelian pried Moon's claws off her shoulders. "Calm down!" She took a deep breath. "I didn't sleep with his sister. I just slept next to her."

Moon seemed to relax slightly. "Okay, okay." She settled down and curled her tail around her. "Sorry, keep going."

Carnelian rubbed her shoulders. "Right, so she asked me out to dinner? What do you think I should do?"

Moon beamed. "Accept it! It'll be good for you."

"I don't even know the first thing about love, though. What am I supposed to do?"

Moon sighed and shook her head. "You don't need to love someone to date them. Just- start with like. Do you like her?"

"I-i think so?"

"Good. Then you march to her and you say yes, you accept, and when and where, and should you pay?"

Carnelian nodded. "Right. Right, I can do this. I am a soldier, I can accept a date."

As Carnelian headed off, Moon couldn't shake the feeling of smug superiority that she'd learned from Winter at this point.  _Well, what did I tell you? Beautiful Fear._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this thing in one sitting, so forgive the shitty quality, please.


End file.
